Forsaken Memories
by LC Rose
Summary: All her life Kagome has been having dreams involving the same frightening figure. Who or what is this creature and what does he want with her? Sess/Kag AU
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: The characters of Inuyasha are not mine. They are property of Rumino Takahashi, Shogakukan, Yomiuri TV, Sunrise, and Viz. Unfortunately, because I could really use some, I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Forsaken Memories

Chapter One…

"_You have already died. You haven't even noticed. You live, and yet you're already dead…"_

Kagome's eyes fluttered open and stared at the ceiling above her. For an instant, for a mere second, she could make out the smallest details of the tiles above her head. Then the sound that had awoken her reached her sleep numbed brain. Turning in her bed, she watched, almost as if it were happening in slow motion, as her hand reached out and shut off the alarm clock.

Laying back against her bedding, a sigh escaped her lips as the feeling of contentment, of satisfaction, slowly slipped away to replace the numbness she knew so well. When had she lost herself? When had she realized that who she was wasn't who she was meant to be? Had she ever known herself at all? Or was her mind only playing wishful tricks on her and this was all that life was meant to be?

She closed her eyes against the rays of bright morning sun that were pouring in through the windows of her bedroom. Images, tattered and torn by waking, flashed through her mind. She'd had another dream, she knew. The details of it were so fresh, so real, it was amazing that it hadn't actually happened to her. But, she knew, that the longer she remained awake, the more the dream would fade until it hunted her down again. Who was that man that called to her? Was he real? Was she meant to find him? And why, when she saw him, when she knew he was there waiting for her, did she cringe with horror?

She had no name for this being of her dreamscape and only called him, privately, the man in black.

All her life she'd had dreams; horrible nightmares of futures and pasts untold. Sometimes the dreams drove her to crying in her sleep and she'd wake with tears streaming down her face, not understanding why because the reason vanished as soon as her eyes opened. Sometimes the dreams, no matter how bloody and grotesque, had her waking feeling as if she were queen of the world and nothing could touch her. And those were the dreams that scared her the most…

Once upon a time she'd tried to talk to her friends about this man that continually seemed to hunt her in the sleeping world of her mind, but they'd latched on the romanticism of the idea, the thought that there was a man out there searching for her, yearning for her. While Kagome had not doubted that this _man _searched for her, she did doubt that his attentions were those that her friends seemed stuck upon. And so, after realizing that her friends were too caught up in their own ideas and not listening to the words she was saying, Kagome had found talking with them on the matter mind-numbing and pointless.

After a particularly bloody dream that caused her to wake up almost screaming, Kagome had even gone so far as to talk to her grandfather about them. While she doubted Jiji had any actually spiritual powers, he did oversee the shrine she'd been raised in. After carefully telling her grandfather about her dreams, without mentioning how often or long they'd been repeating in her mind and without giving too much detail, she'd awaited his wisdom and had not been surprised when he'd launched into tales of youkai and magical powers and how spiritual abilities ran strongly through the Higurashi bloodline.

Jiji had become agitated and worried over the matter, saying that some evil spirit was trying to gain access to her soul. He worked himself up so much that Kagome had feared for the older man's blood pressure. After promising him that she would tell him as soon as she had another dream, she'd turned his attention to other matters all the while with her fingers crossed behind her back.

It was the one and only promise she'd ever broken to her grandfather as she'd dreamed of the man in black thousands of times since then. And while this pained her, she knew it best to keep such things to herself where he was concerned. Jiji was getting on in years and too much excitement would not be good for him. Especially over something so trivial as a dream. She was a twenty-four-year-old adult, for Kami sake! Dreams, night terrors, were for children to fret and worry over. Not for someone like her.

"They are meaningless anyway," she said aloud to the empty room around her.

Forcing her body to move, Kagome rose from her bed and padded the short distance between there and the bathroom. She started the shower first, letting the room fill with steam and heat, as she stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. "Who am I?" she questioned the face there. "What do you want with me?"

The only answers she received was in the haggard appearance of her eyes. Always, after a night like this, it showed on her face how tortured her dreams truly were. Her friends would notice, she knew. They would notice and wonder and talk amongst themselves. Of course, they would only have her best interests at heart, but Kagome was tired of everyone else trying to solve her life's mysteries.

With resolve, she striped out of her pajamas, leaving them in a puddle on the floor at her feet, and stepped into the hot shower. She washed herself, trying to keep her thoughts from wandering towards the dreams. When she was done, she took care of other morning necessities and then dressed for the day. It wasn't until she'd left her small apartment and was walking towards work when she realized she hadn't eaten anything yet. "Damn," she cursed softly under her breath. "So much for not being distracted."

*FM*

Kagome stopped along the way to work to buy herself something to hold her hunger at bay. She moved through the day like a zombie, doing what work came her way to be done. Sometimes she hated her job; the easy-going, mindlessness of it. Other days, like today, she was glad she did not have to put forth much effort. As a little girl, she'd had childish ideals of changing the world through some fantastic job, but, as she'd grown into womanhood, she'd found a strange satisfaction in blending in with the rest of society. Yes, she'd completed her schooling with high marks, but hadn't wanted to take the jobs those marks deserved. When her mother had questioned her choices, Kagome had merely shrugged and said there would be time later.

Time. What an illusive thing…

The day ended and Kagome began the walk home. She didn't live far from the small office she worked in and rather enjoyed the walks, no matter the weather. Today the sun was shining, the sky clear. She detoured from her usual route to walk through the small park that was near her home. Stopping at the koi pond, she stared into the placid waters. "I'm already dead?" she mouthed to the fish swimming lazily by. "What would a dream know?"

All day the last words of the man in black had haunted her, distracted her, and held her enthralled. Yes, he said them to her every time she dreamed of him, but they still held power over her. How was it that he knew her so well? How did he know all her secret fears and how to control her? Why did he seem so real?

The vibration of her cell phone made her jump and Kagome mentally berated herself for it. She fished the phone out of her pocket and looked at the call screen. It was Ayumi. Kagome answered it and was immediately deafened by a high pitched squeal of joy. "You answered!"

"Of course I did. This is my phone."

"Don't give me that bullshit, Kagome. You _never _answer your phone any more. I swear you are turning into a recluse."

"I've been busy, that's all. And I just saw you less than two weeks ago, Ayumi."

Ayumi gave a huff of indignation and disbelief. "I see more of your brother than I do you, Kagome."

At that, Kagome smiled. Little did Ayumi know that her brother, Souta, had developed quite a crush on the older girl and was secretly "stalking" her in his own way. "Could it be because he has a crush on you, Ayumi?" she teased. Ayumi would never believe it, never see Souta's feelings for what they were. Kagome had tried to explain this to her brother, but love was love. Hardly rational.

"Oh Kami, Kagome! Don't say things like that. I've known him since he was in diapers." Ayumi gave a shudder of disgust that was visible even over the phone and continued talking as if Kagome hadn't said anything about her brother. "Any way, you have to come out with us tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Kagome, I will not let you wiggle out of this one."

"I don't wiggle, Ayumi," she argued pointlessly. It almost felt like they were high school all over again.

"No, you bury your head in the sand and let life pass you by."

"Now that's a little harsh—"

"I will not accept no for an answer, Kagome," Ayumi interrupted. "Listen. I'll be at your place by eight to pick you up. We're meeting the girls at the new bar at eight thirty. Dress sexy, Kagome. You never know when a fresh piece of meat will come your way."

Before Kagome could get another word in, Ayumi had hung up. Sighing to herself, Kagome pocketed her phone and walked the rest of the way home. She let herself into her small apartment and looked around at the familiar furniture. Each piece had been selected with loving care, she remembered. She'd been so excited to have her own place, to no longer be living at home with her mother, Jiji, and Souta. Now what she wouldn't give for her mother's comforting presence to come home to and for the smell of her oden filling the house. _Perhaps the man in black represents my dreams unfulfilled?_ she thought to herself as she went through the motions of undressing from her work clothes and putting on a pair of black jeans and a simple shirt.

Ayumi had said to dress sexy, but Kagome was not in the mood for men this evening. Maybe, after a few drinks, they might look appetizing, but she seriously doubted it. She wasn't sure what she was looking for in the opposite sex, but it definitely wasn't the ones who were attracted to her. They were either assholes or so nice they seemed to made of sugar and think her an angel capable of no wrong. _Like Hojo_, Kagome thought. Thankfully Eri had snatched Hojo off the market shortly after high school and after confirming with Kagome that she didn't want anything to do with him other than friendship.

At eight o'clock exactly Ayumi was knocking on her door. As soon as Kagome opened it, Ayumi was practically dragging her out the door, chatting with her usual vigor. All of it was complete nonsense and of no importance, but that is what girl friends were best for, it seemed. The nonstop talk erased Kagome's memories of her troubles for the time being as she tried, in vain, to get a word in edgewise.

Ayumi talked the entire way to the bar, which ended up not being a little hole in wall like Kagome had thought it would be. It ended up being a massive three story dance club complete with dark shadowed recesses, flashing lights, and loud, throbbing music. As they walked in, after being ID'd and stamped, Kagome looked around the massive room filled with bodies. "This isn't a bar, Ayumi!" she yelled over the noise of the music.

"It serves alcohol. Therefore it is," Ayumi answered back while scanning the crowded room for the others. She spotted them, latched on to Kagome's arm, and dragged her across the club to where some tables were set up. Hojo, Eri, and Yuka were already there. "We've finally arrived!" Ayumi cried out with a flourish of her hands. "First round of shots are on me!"

This, of course, was met with a rousing cheer from her friends and Ayumi pushed her down into the nearest seat. "Watch Kags and make sure she lives a little. I'll be back in a sec."

Before Kagome could respond to that barb, Ayumi was gone towards the nearest bar and her friends were engulfing her in questions.

*FM*

Several mixed drinks and shots later Kagome found herself finally feeling relaxed. It had been a while since she'd been out with her friends—not including going to see them at their homes—and she found herself actually having a good time. Eri and Hojo had been dancing almost all night long and Ayumi had dragged her out onto the floor a few times. She could feel the alcohol working its way through her system, though, and so sat the next number out, being the one to keep the table claimed.

She was sitting at the table, stirring her straw around in her drink and staring off onto the dance floor at the strangely lit shapes gyrating there, when the hairs on the back of her neck rose up and goose bumps covered her arms. The dance club was in no way cold and, in fact, Kagome was feeling almost feverish from the combined body heat of those there. Wondering what in the world had made her feel this way, she stood, feeling as if she were being watched. As she did a wave of dizziness came over her and she had to brace herself against the tabletop to keep from falling over. Her eyes immediately sought out her friends. Hojo and Eri were on the second level, she knew, but Ayumi and Yuka were around here somewhere.

Kagome spotted them dancing with a couple of guys not too far away from her. Feeling an overwhelming need to escape, she pushed herself away from the table and stumbled towards them. She wasn't drunk, but her body felt as if some outside force were trying to overtake it. She had to fight her own muscles to move.

When she was only a few feet away from her friends, her world seemed to freeze. The bodies dancing around her stopped. The lights stalled. Even the music fell silent. Unsure of what was going on, Kagome froze, as well. Then she saw him; standing not too far beyond where her friends were dancing, preternatural golden eyes seeming to glow in the darkness as they connected with hers. He was covered by the shadows of the club and so Kagome could not see what he was wearing, but she would know this man anywhere. After all, he'd been living in her mind for years now.

Then, just as suddenly as everything had happened, the world unfroze and crashed back down on her. Kagome stumbled forward, her eyes immediately drawn back to where she had seen _him. _The spot was empty.

Tearing around, she tried to see where he had gone, but it was if he hadn't ever been there at all. Then her friends noticed her. "Kagome?" Yuka asked as she stopped dancing and came over to where she was standing. "Are you okay?"

Kagome couldn't speak, still stunned by what she'd thought she'd seen. Instead she nodded her head yes, but she could see that Yuka didn't believe her. Taking her by the arm, Yuka led her off the dance floor, shooting Ayumi a look that she'd find out what was wrong. They moved over to one of the alcoves where the music wasn't so loud. "You don't look okay, Kagome."

"I'm fine, Yuka," Kagome assured her once more. The feeling of being watched had dissipated within an instant. As had the dizziness and chills that had raced through her body. "But I'm getting tired and better go home."

Yuka glanced at her watched and gave a silent curse under her breath. "Damn, it is late. Come on, Kagome. I'll take you home. Let me tell Ayumi that we're leaving."

Kagome only nodded her head and stayed where she was, her eyes racing around the dance club still trying to catch a glimpse of the man she'd seen that so closely resembled her nightmare in the flesh. Yuka returned a moment later and, together, they left the club. Once outside in the cooler night air, Kagome almost felt foolish for the fear that had gripped her. Almost.

*FM*

When Kagome made it back to her home that evening, she turned on every light in her small apartment. Not a shadow existed in the safety of her realm. Then she sat on the couch, legs drawn back against her chest with her arms wrapped tightly around them. Her eyes stared at the empty television that sat across the way and she briefly entertained the idea of turning it on. The gyrating music of the club ran through her mind then and Kagome quickly decided that silence was better. In silence she might find the illusive peace that had been stolen from her this evening.

Closing her eyes, Kagome calmed her breathing and willed herself to relax and unfold. She thought back to those times she and Jiji had meditated together, something her grandfather had loved doing with her as a young child. They had sat in the gardens meditating together for many long hours and Kagome had always thought she'd felt better after focusing herself and her energies. Deciding that was what she needed now, she let the silence of her apartment fill her, complete her, and blind her to all else.

Moving herself into the half-lotus position, she folded her hands across her lap and concentrated on her breathing, on the air filling and leaving her. Slowly, as she focused solely on her breathing, her mind relaxed. As her mind relaxed, her body followed and the tension that had haunted her since leaving the dance club slipped away as well.

When she next opened her eyes, Kagome felt like her old self once more. She stood, stretching and smiling, and moved back to her bedroom. After a quick shower, she changed into her pajamas and slid underneath the covers of her bed. For a moment she thought of getting up and turning off all the lights, but then she changed her mind. Maybe they would keep her dreams at bay…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two…

_Kagome opened her eyes and looked around her. She was sitting on the forest floor again. Sunshine was pouring through the treetops and a light breeze, carrying the scents of the forest, was ruffling through the leaves and stirring the grass at her feet. She was, once more, dressed entirely in white; the kimono almost seeming to glow with its own light amid the dark browns and greens of the forest surrounding her. _

_Even though she didn't want to, Kagome found herself standing, brushing off the imaginary specks of dirt that may have collected upon her pristine kimono. Her feet began carrying her forward, deeper into the forest where the trees grew closer together and the sunlight penetrated the foliage less. Her steps faltered as she neared the first clearing she always came to before coming to him, but her feet would not stop. Even though this was her dream, Kagome was as much a pawn of it as the surroundings were  
_

_She breached the clearing, where the sunlight fell almost fully upon the ground, illuminating the sight before her. The birds were there, as they always were. Sparrows. It was always sparrows. Some were flitting from bush to bush to ground, doing the things most birds did. Their eyes would, every brief moment, glance her way expectedly. Kagome never knew what those birds wanted of her, but she had never focused much on them either. It was the other half of the sparrows that always garnered her attention. Laying on the ground, the right sides of them almost completely gone, the remaining half of the sparrows were flapping their left wings madly, turning their small bodies in circles. Even though there should have been blood and the birds should have been dead, they were still alive and the blood was nowhere._

_Her body shaking with fright, Kagome skirted around the birds. Even though the sight of the half eviscerated birds should be the reason she was afraid, they had never bothered her overly much. It was what lay ahead that bothered her, what scared her. It was who was doing this to the birds that frightened Kagome more. _

_The closer she grew to her final destination, the denser the trees around her grew and the less the sunlight penetrated. The air became cooler even though the breeze had ceased long ago. Wishing she could stop, wishing she could close her eyes and turn away, Kagome continued onward. Finally she reached the end of the trail, which opened up into another clearing even larger than the one before. Though the sunlight could pour freely into this one, as well, it seemed to shy away, barely illuminating the scene before her._

_Kagome stopped at the edge of the clearing, as she always did. Her hands fell obediently to her sides, hands uncurling from the clenched fists she'd had them in. There was never any resistance to be offered in this place. Her eyes looked directly at the being in front of her. _

_The man in black._

_He stood in the center of the clearing, dressed entirely in black robes that hid his body from her view. All she could see of his face were his golden eyes staring at her from the darkness of the hood. They seemed to glow, like a cat's eyes reflecting the light, and were cold. So very cold and unfeeling. And all around the man in black there was an oppressive feeling, as if he were controlling all that neared him, pushing his aura upon it and dominating all. _

_The man in black shifted slightly before her and Kagome could feel his eyes roving over her body. Whether he was pleased by her appearance or not, she had never known. The man in black gave nothing away unless it suited his purposes. _

_Slowly, almost as if he feared she would run away, his hand raised up. The sleeves of his robes pulled away, revealing to Kagome the long, tapered fingers tipped with delicate looking but sharp claws. His flesh was pale, as if never kissed by the sun, but looked smooth and young. His fingers moved, beckoning her forward._

_And, as always, Kagome shook her head no._

_Her denial of his request had never seemed to phase the man in black. In the years she'd had this dream, he had never once lashed out against her. The aura surrounding him flared slightly this time, though. "Kagome," he said, his voice deep and resonating._

_At the sound of her name, Kagome stilled. While the man in black had spoken to her, briefly, before in her dreams, he had never once said her name. Sometimes he had sounded sagely, giving her words of his supposed wisdom. Sometimes he had been mocking and cruel, sharpening his tongue on her. Sometimes he had been speaking, it seemed, more to himself. But this time…_

_He interrupted her reflections with a sharp, "Come."_

_Always demanding. Always wanting. Never giving. The man in black._

_Once more, Kagome shook her head no. The almost lethargic surrender she'd always felt was slowly melting away as her fright began to take over her again. _

_This time the man in black took a step towards her and Kagome froze once more, like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming vehicle. He moved again, his feet not even seeming to strike the ground as he walked towards her. "Why do you resist me?"_

_Kagome opened her mouth to answer, but the words seemed to be sucked from her vocal cords before she even had a chance to try and speak them. And then, in almost a flash, he was right in front of her. She gasped at his sudden movement, so fast she hadn't been able to follow it with her eyes. She had to raise her face upwards to keep her eyes locked with his. Kagome hadn't realized how tall he was before then, as she'd never been this close to him before._

_The scent of him surrounded her, filled her. It wasn't the scent of death, as she'd always supposed. No, it was something else. He smelled…male. Yes, male was the only word she could think to describe it. Virile and ruthless. Strong and capable of so much. Kagome found herself falling for that scent, wanting to rub her face into it and inhale it until the scent of him was all she knew. She shook her head, trying to clear her mind._

_The man in black paused before her and then slowly raised his clawed hand once more. His palm came to rest on the side of her face and his eyes, those glowing orbs in the darkness of his hood, stared down at her as if they could see right through her, read her inner soul and own it. _

_His flesh against hers was not cold, as his aura projected. It was warm, almost so hot it felt capable of burning the skin from her body. Those deadly claws rested lightly against her cheek and Kagome found herself wondering if this was when he'd kill her in her dreams. She's always sensed that the man in black carried her death with him. Was this when it would finally come? And how would her death in a dream affect her physical self? _

_The man in black leaned forward and stopped when his face was only inches from hers. Kagome could feel his warm breath ghosting across her lips, mingling with her own. "You have already died, Kagome," he whispered. "You haven't even noticed."_

_Kagome knew these words. This meant she would be released from this nightmare soon. "You live," he continued, almost lyrically. _

_His words were so caressing, it was almost like a lover speaking to her. If his speech was of anything else, Kagome would have thought him one. A dark lover, but a lover nonetheless. However, he spoke of her dying, of her death. He spoke of it casually without care for the fact that she was dead or already dead or soon-to-be dead. Those were not the thoughts and actions of a lover. At least, she prayed they were not the actions of **her** lover._

_Suddenly a feeling of lightness enveloped her from within. A strength she hadn't ever felt before rose within her. Her voice, her control over herself, returned with an almost blinding rush. "And yet, I'm already dead," she finished for him, her voice even and sure as she stepped out of his grasp, away from his touch and the weight of his aura._

_For a brief instance she saw shock in those golden depths and then the dreamscape fell away…_

*FM*

Kagome opened her eyes and realized she was smiling.

Her hand reached up and laid against her face. He had _touched _her, in her dream. The man in black's hand had lain across her cheek as if in the motions of a caress. His breath had grazed her lips. His scent had wrapped itself around her and taken control, being all she'd wanted to know and have. Why was she smiling? What great battle did her mind think she had won against the nightmare figure of her dreams?

If anything, he'd gained a greater foothold on her than any time before. But the look of surprise she'd glimpsed in his eyes at the end of the dream…

Sitting up, Kagome glanced over at her clock. There was still an hour's worth of sleep to be had, if she wanted it, but she didn't think she could. So she rose and went through the apartment turning off the lights she'd left on last night. A feeling of foolishness chased after her as she realized how childish her actions would seem to someone else; believing that leaving the lights on would keep the monsters in the closet, so to speak.

Leaving only one lamp on in the living room, one on in her bedroom, and the bathroom light on, Kagome made herself a cup of coffee. When it was ready, she wrapped herself up in her bathrobe and sat down on the couch in her living room to drink it.

When she was done with her coffee, Kagome carried herself to the bathroom and ran the shower. She stepped into the hot water, dunking her face under the spray, and couldn't help but compare the heat of it to the heat of _his _hand. She closed her eyes, focusing on the sound and feel of the water.

Kagome tried to feel as if the water were washing everything away, but she knew it wasn't true. They were connected, somehow. Too connected to let a mere washing in the shower erase his touch from her body, from her mind. Even though she was surrounded by the heat of the water, a shudder still raced through her at the thought of it.

*FM*

At the end of her work day, not wanting to go back to her apartment, Kagome went directly to the shrine. Being around her family had always been comforting. Her mother was the shining beacon of her life and had always offered just the right amount of caring and love and guidance. It almost seemed as if her mother had garnered a sixth sense when she'd had children and had always just _known _when her daughter had needed that extra push or when to back away.

Stopping at the base of the stairs, Kagome looked up the high climb. Reflecting upon the years she had climbed these stairs every day, Kagome thought of how she'd always looked at it as if she were climbing towards heaven—in her more poetic moments, of course. With the sun shining down, making the torii at the top of the stairs look like a golden gateway, the idea of it filtered through her mind once more. But still, what she wouldn't give for an escalator one of these days.

Pacing herself, Kagome began the long climb up. As she climbed, a niggling worry began building and tickling at the back the her mind. Something seemed off. Something seemed wrong. And the higher she climbed, the closer to home she drew, the more the sensation increased until Kagome was almost frantic to reach the top and see for herself that all was still well and she was just going insane. _Not her too_, she thought to herself as she picked up speed.

Finally reaching the top, only slightly breathless, Kagome paused underneath the torii. Her eyes swept the grounds in front of her, coming to rest on Goshinboku, a light breeze rustling its shimenawa. The tree, standing tall and stately, had always been the watcher of her family, a protector through the ages. As a child, Kagome had found comfort in talking to Goshinboku, telling it all of her secrets and finding strength and resolve in its magnificence. Today, though, the charge in the air seemed centered around the sacred tree, giving it an almost evil presence. Still, there was nothing visible to her eyes that warranted the crawling sensations racing up and down her spine. Maybe it was all in her mind?

Giving the suddenly foreboding tree a wide berth and feeling all the more like a coward, Kagome hurried towards the house. She walked inside, taking her heels off at the doorway, and turned, expecting to be greeted by someone. The house was strangely quiet, almost as if no one was there. "Hello?" she called, listening as her voice reached the far corners of the house and rebounded back to her.

There was movement from above and Kagome looked up the stairs to see Souta poking his head over the railing. "Oh, it's you."

"Oh, it's you," Kagome snapped back, but playfully. "What a way to say hello to your big sister. Where's mom?"

"Helping Jiji clean," Souta answered. "Are you here by yourself, Kagome?"

Kagome didn't miss the way Souta's head strained over the railing so he could see if anyone stood with her out of eyesight. Rolling her eyes at his obviousness, Kagome informed him that no, Ayumi was not with her at this time. After giving her a brotherly glare for her sarcastic answer to his "innocent" inquiry, Souta promptly disappeared back into his bedroom.

"Ah, young love," Kagome mused aloud as she climbed the stairs to her bedroom.

Souta's reply to her words was to slam shut the door to his room.

Laughing to herself, forgetting the feeling that had prickled her consciousness and sent her running for the house, Kagome went into her room. She hadn't lived here in years, but her mother still left her room open and available to her. Glad for that and to be surrounded by what she knew was safe and secure, Kagome fished out a pair of jeans and a tee shirt to wear. From time to time she still stayed at the shrine to periodically help out and she made sure she kept her drawers stocked with a selection of clothing for the work here.

Leaving her work clothes on her bed, Kagome grabbed a pair of old tennis shoes out of the closet. She went back below, slipping the shoes on before opening the door to the outside world once more. Almost apprehensively, she stepped outside, expecting to be assaulted by the strange feelings from before. Thankfully, whatever had bothered her seemed gone now. The air felt lighter and the sacred tree looked as it always had, a silent protector of the shrine.

Hearing her grandfather and mother talking in one of the back store rooms, Kagome headed that way. Her mother saw her first, a joyful surprise showing on her face. "Kagome!" she called. "I wasn't expecting you."

"Yes, I just wanted to come home for a bit."

Kagome could tell her mother was about to say something else, but Jiji's voice, sounding muffled, came from the back of the storage room, interrupting her. "Kagome, is that you? Good. You can help an old man out!"

Her mother gave her one of those smiles, the ones meant to say 'have patience', and stepped aside so Kagome could enter.

The room smelled musty and, almost immediately, Kagome was hit with thousands of tiny lightening bolts as the various items in the room seem to immediately wake with her entrance. Having never experienced this feeling before, Kagome stood in the middle of the room, stunned. Jiji, tired of waiting for her to come to him, poked his head out of the depth of the box he was in and looked at her. "Well, Kagome? Are you going to stand there talking to everything at once or are you going to come and help me?"

Confused and unsure, Kagome approached her grandfather, trying to ignore the lightening strikes still racing up her body. The closer she drew to her grandfather, the easier it came to be in the storage room.

Not sure what to say, Kagome said nothing at all.

*FM*

a./n: A shimenawa is a straw rope with white zigzag paper strips (gohei). It marks the boundary to something sacred and can be found on torii gates, around sacred trees and stones, etc.

I found a very interesting site that educated me greatly on Japanese Shinto shrines (which I am taking the liberty to call the shrine where Kagome grew up). The link would be: (take out the spaces please) http:/ www. japan-guide. com/e/e2059. html

Updates will be sporadic with this, but I give you my promise that I _will_ finish it. :-)

~LC


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three…

Kagome returned to her apartment late that night. The light on the answering machine was flashing, but she ignored it. She didn't want to talk to anyone. She didn't want to see anyone. She just wanted…to be.

Sitting down in her living room, Kagome's eyes swept across the piles of dream books she acquired over the years. None of them had ever helped her understand the strangeness that followed her, but she couldn't bear to get rid of them either. Why that was Kagome couldn't say. She'd never been much to hang on to the old, to cling to past.

Tomorrow was Friday and she did not have to work. What would she do with herself? Usually she spent the day at the shrine, helping Jiji with work and in the shop. The idea of returning there, of returning to the feelings that had arisen in her, turned the image sour in her mind, though, and this pissed Kagome off. She couldn't help but lay the blame of all that was occurring with her on the shoulders of the man in black. She felt foolish for getting angry with a figment of her overactive imagination, but the anger was there nonetheless. Who did he think he was? Controlling her life, her way of thought, and her body? _Not any more, _Kagome thought to herself. Invading the shrine, her sanctuary, was the last infringement she would take.

Jumping up from her couch, Kagome hit the message button on her answering machine. She was not surprised to hear Ayumi's voice, wanting her to go out with her tomorrow evening. Kagome immediately picked up her phone and dialed Ayumi's cell. Ayumi was a night owl by nature and a partier by choice. She was never home unless she had to be. Thankfully for her, Ayumi worked as a promotions officer for an up and coming music company, a job which favored her choice of lifestyle. "Hey, Ayumi! It's Kagome."

"Higurashi!" Ayumi replied. Kagome could hear laughter in the background and knew Ayumi was out and about somewhere. More than likely she was entertaining clients.

"Just wanted to let you know I'm on for tomorrow night. And this girl is going to dress to kill."

Ayumi gave a shout of victory that was returned by whoever she was with in their drunken stupors. "We're going to paint the town, Kags. Bring the men to their knees and have them drooling at our feet."

"As long as they don't ruin my shoes, I don't care."

Kagome hung with Ayumi and then took herself to bed. Her dreams that night remained blissfully normal, by everyone else's standards, and she woke late the next morning feeling refreshed and renewed. She jumped out of bed, dressing for the day. When she was done, she collected all of her dream books and placed them in a box by the door. On her way to the shrine today, to keep her standing tradition with Jiji despite anything else, she would drop them all off at a donation site. Going out tonight with Ayami would be step one in taking back her life. Step two would be to erase the constant reminders of her strange dreams.

*FM*

Kagome walked into her apartment, sighing to herself. The day had been harder than she'd thought it be, the prickling feeling following her everywhere she went. Thankfully the animosity, the evil, she'd felt before had not been present.

But now that was over, that was the past…

Fixing herself some ramen to eat, Kagome ate while standing in her closet, looking over the clothes there. She'd never been one to dress flashy; preferring the quiet and calm to the standout. Finally, in the far back corner of her closet, Kagome located the red corset Ayumi had insisted she buy herself long ago. Kagome had purchased it, feeling bold and daring at the time, and then never worn it again. Pulling the corset out along with a black leather skirt, she set her clothing aside and finished eating. When she was done, she showered, enjoying the heat of the water as it washed away the grime from her day's work at the shrine.

Wrapped in a towel, Kagome fished out her make-up from the drawer she'd all but abandoned it in. She hardly ever wore it, even to work, and looking over it now Kagome wondered if she shouldn't just throw it all away. _Who was it that had told her to get new make-up every six months?_ Oh well. She'd make due.

Throwing some music on her CD player, Kagome dried her hair and slipped on the corset and black skirt. She looked herself over in the full length mirror in her room and could only think that she was all boobs and legs. Ayumi would be pleased. When she slipped on the thigh high black boots, the outfit would be complete. Now if only her face would follow….

Going to her bathroom, Kagome looked herself over the mirror there. What she saw was not what she felt. There, before her, was a young woman; confident in her youth, body, and mind. Feeling as if she were grasping straws, Kagome took her make-up in hand and began applying it to her face. When she was done, she stepped back and looked herself over. The woman who looked back at her was not a woman she knew. In fact, Kagome was certain the man in black would be furious if he saw her this way. Why she knew that did not bug her as much as the fact that it, for some reason, mattered to her

Pushing aside the thoughts, Kagome checked the time. Ayumi would be there at any moment. Despite her hectic, party till dawn lifestyle, Ayumi had always been there for her friends and _always_ been there right when she said she'd be. Deciding against any jewelry, thinking it might distract from her appearance, Kagome finished up her hair just as Ayumi knocked on her door.

*FM*

Stumbling with Ayumi into her apartment, Kagome flipped the light switch on. Holding onto Ayumi with one hand, she maneuvered them both into her apartment and shut the front door behind them. Flipping the locks, as was habit, she led Ayumi over to the couch and they both plopped down onto it.

After a minute, finally feeling uncomfortable with herself, Kagome struggled to take off her boots, tossing them to the floor as she did. Ayumi was stretched out on the couch, her face covered with a wide grin. "We…we haven't partied like that in a long time, Kags."

Smiling at her friend, Kagome had to agree. They'd hit more places than she could recall that night; dancing and drinking as they went. In the end, they'd taken a cab back to her place as both of them were too drunk to care, too drunk to drive. Kagome could not even recall how many numbers had been tossed her way that evening, how many men's hands had been on her body as she'd let herself go to the music and the alcohol. At the time it had felt liberating, freeing. Now? She wasn't so sure. For some reason, she felt dirty.

Standing up, bracing herself on the couch, she stumbled back to her bedroom and grabbed the covers off her bed for Ayumi. By the time she managed to return to the living room, Ayumi was almost passed out on the couch. Kagome managed to somehow throw the covers over her friend and went back to her bedroom, undressing as she went. The skirt went first. Followed shortly by the corset.

As she stripped, Kagome felt as if she were wiping away the grimy hands of the men who'd touched her as she danced and tried to push away the memories that haunted her. By the time she reached her bed she was naked. Gloriously so, in her nakedness.

Falling upon her bed, Kagome breathed in the scent of the sheets; familiar and reminding her of home. She sighed deeply, closing her eyes and regretting her actions this evening. They'd been impulsive and there would be hell to pay tomorrow, she knew.

Rolling onto her back, Kagome stared up at the ceiling above. The tiles there were swimming, melding and forming their own patterns. She closed her eyes to ease her stomach. Jiji always said alcohol was the downfall of man, the cesspit of humanity, and Kagome was finally beginning to understand where he was coming from. Despite the numerous times she had gotten drunk with her friends, there was something different about this time. Why she couldn't pinpoint—or was too drunk to—but she didn't care right then. All she wanted was sleep…

*FM*

_Kagome looked around herself._

_Trees, bushes, forest floor. Yes, she was back in the forest. But there was no trail before her, no path to guide her to her destination.  
_

_She stumbled and realized she wasn't dressed as she normally was in these dreams. No. She was wearing the same outfit she'd worn when she'd gone out with Ayumi. The high heels of her thigh high boots were not meant for trudging through a forest. The heels kept sinking down into the earth and slowing her steps, tripping her. _

_Ignoring the sinking sensations that swelled up within her, Kagome pressed onward, unable to deny the desire to move forward. Her hands became scratched from the branches she moved out of her way, but she didn't care. The smell of her blood, the tang of it, filled the air around her.  
_

_Eyes watched her progress. Dark and hidden, red and furious, they followed her movements. Kagome tried to shield herself from their animosity, their hate, but it was a lost cause. As in every other dream, she was but a pawn…_

_When it seemed that she would be swallowed in the sea of trees as they tightened around her, they broke and Kagome stumbled forward into the clearing she was so intimate with. The only thing wrong was that the man in black was not there.  
_

_Moving to the center of the clearing, where he normally stood, Kagome stopped and looked around her. Shadows threatening from the sidelines stayed away from her here and the moon washed down upon her. Turning her head towards the heavens, Kagome eyed the crescent moon with disdain. "You call me here," she said to the silence around her. "You call me here and do not even have the decency to show?"_

_Suddenly she found herself pressed to the ground. The smell of the land, rich with decay and life, filled her. It took Kagome a moment to realize the axis of her world had changed, the smells and sight different from before. "Bitch," his familiar voice sounded from above her. His voice was harsher than any time before. Maliciousness filled it. His tone was cruel, meaning to be, and she knew he was displeased with her.  
_

_His clawed hand was wrapped around her throat. He was pressing, squeezing. The rest of her body seemed void of movement as her lungs tried to grasp the air. Kagome tried to stop him, tried to move, but it seemed impossible. Overcome with a sense of impurity, she attempted to shield her barely clad body from his form._

_Suddenly she was upright with his very male body pressed against her backside. The hand around her throat was still present; a very real threat. "Bitch," he uttered again, his voice vibrating against her the skin of her throat. "You are mine."  
_

_Kagome became aware of many things at once; the feel of him behind her, the scent of him surrounding her, the feel of his claws against her skin. His aura was pressing upon her, demanding submission again. The smell of her own blood hung heavily in the air and she closed her eyes against the sensations. "No," she managed somehow to whisper._

_She was spun around, her back pressed against the rough bark of a tree. Opening her eyes, Kagome looked into the faceless, hooded man in black. Only his eyes showed and they were colder than she had seen them ever before. He was angry with her. Angry with her for going out with Ayumi, for letting others touch her body. "No!" Kagome shouted back at him, defiance filling her.  
_

_He would not win. Not this time._

_All of the sudden, he stilled. She could still feel his eyes boring into her, but the anger there had faded. Instead she knew he wore a cocky smile and she could feel his eyes sliding over her figure. It wasn't like the other times he'd looked at her. No. This time there was lust there. Desire. Wanting.  
_

_And it scared the shit out of her…_

_The man in black leaned forward. She could feel him sniffing against her skin. He was sorting out the scents of her body; delving beyond those of the men who'd touched her this evening. When he pulled away, his aura told her he seemed vaguely pleased by something. Whatever that something was, Kagome knew **she **wouldn't be pleased by it. "My little miko," he cooed, his voice suddenly light and playful despite seconds before being harsh and cruel. "Long have I waited for this day…"  
_

_His voice died out, taken away either by the environment or by her own mind. Kagome squeezed her eyes shut, but she could still see his other hand. The hand not holding her against the tree was up, claws glistening in the moonlight. "No," she uttered again as those claws came towards her._

_The fabric of her corset split easily before him; falling away to nothing and baring herself to him. "My little bitch," he said again, leaning towards her. "You are ready for me. To take me. To make yourself mine. Finally."  
_

_Kagome opened her eyes, looking into the face of the dark figure before her. Her body and mind were overwhelmed. Both wanted to have this happen yet both were fighting against it at the same time. "No," she said again, her voice strong and steady._

_His aura became a weight against her as his hand moved towards her exposed breasts…  
_

*FM*

Kagome shot to with a scream. It took her a moment to recognize the blurry form of Ayumi, standing there swaying drunkenly. "Kags," Ayumi whispered again. "You were dreaming…"

"Dreaming?"

"Yeah, I could hear you yelling from your living room."

Kagome laid back against her pillows. A breath escaped her lips. "Dreaming?"

"Yeah," Ayumi said as she crawled into bed next to her and settled herself. "You know, your bed is really comfortable."

"It better be," Kagome answered as she yawned. "I definitely paid enough for it."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four…

Kagome woke feeling groggy, worn up, and used. She shook her head, hoping to clear away the spider webs incasing her mind, but she knew it was no avail. She'd been waking this way for weeks now, but at least her dreams had been blissfully silent. There was only the pounding headache, letting her know she was somehow keeping the demon from her dreams at bay. But the effect was getting harder and harder to bear, harder to take, harder to keep.

She rose on unsteady legs and somehow made it to the refuge of her bathroom to shower. The water only helped to let her know how worn and beat-up her body was despite not being truly physical in quite a while. Glancing at the clock as she left the bathroom, Kagome groaned and somehow fumbled for the phone, calling in sick for work that day. She didn't think she could take the boring monotonous routine of her usual day now without possibly vomiting on someone.

Dressing comfortably in a pair of old sweats and a tee shirt, she brushed her hair and teeth and then sat in her living room, staring at her walls. Her eyes focused on a single ray of sunshine that broke through the blinds and slowly crawled across the room and her ears heard only the sound of the ticking clock. When the pounding in her head began to match that of the clock, Kagome closed her eyes and squeezed herself into a tight ball. "Go away," she moaned quietly to herself.

"Never."

Jerking upright, her head turning to look around her, Kagome scanned the lonely and empty shell of her apartment. There had been a distinct answer to her demand, a voice she thought she recognized, and the very tone of it had sent chills coursing through her body.

She stood, giving the wall she'd been staring at for the last half hour her back. "Who's here?" she called out, her eyes darting around for any signs.

Silence was her answer.

Still Kagome remained standing, her body tense and on high alert. "I said, who's here?" she demanded to know again.

Still silence answered her, but there was a mocking feeling in the air. It was as if something was taunting her and Kagome didn't like in the least. She made a quick decision then, throwing on her shoes by the door and grabbing her keys and wallet from the table by it. She left her apartment right then and there without a specific destination in mind. All that mattered was getting away from whatever it was that stalked her.

Her only problem, she supposed as she walked down the flights of stairs to the ground level, was that whatever was stalking her was _within _her and went with her everywhere.

She reached the street and let her feet carry her where they may knowing she looked a horrible sight from lack of sleep and fright. Before she knew it she found herself at the base of the stairs leading to her family's shrine and her mind filled with thoughts of being wrapped up in her mother's warm embrace. She climbed the stairs resolutely, never faltering in her gait and keeping her eyes on the top. When she finally broke through the last torii, Kagome released a sigh of relief as the pounding in her head seemed to lessen some.

"Kagome?" came a familiar voice. "What are you doing here today?"

She turned and smiled at her grandfather, giving him a bow of respect. "I was in the neighborhood," she answered with a shrug, trying to appear nonchalant and carefree.

"You look tired, Kagome," he noticed right away. "Is something on your mind?"

_More like someone, _she thought to herself, but to her grandfather she merely smiled and shook her head no. "I just didn't sleep well last night," she answered, not exactly a lie but not exactly the truth.

"Meditation works wonders!" her grandfather replied. "And I just got in these charms that are suppose to keep the demons of dreams away."

He turned and hurried back towards the shrine's store, more than likely intent on fetching one of his "charms" for her to have. Kagome sighed to herself and continued onwards towards her mother and her mother's soothing presence. What was it about mothers that made everything bad turn good?

*FM*

Kagome found her mother in the kitchen rinsing the last of the dishes she had. Why was it always here her mother was to be found? _A woman's work is never done, _she said silently to herself as she stood back and watched her mother work.

Her mother finally noticed her when she turned to dry her hands. "Kagome!" she said with surprise, a smile blossoming across her face. Kagome only hoped she aged as her mother did, gracefully and with beauty.

"Good morning, momma," Kagome replied as she accepted the embrace she had so desperately wanted. She leaned into her mother's slight frame and wrapped her arms around her, hoping to leach out whatever it was that made this woman so powerful in her mind. Certainly if she had only a small pinch of that whatever haunted her nights would run in fear.

Her mother must have sensed something as she stepped back with concern darkening the joy in her eyes. "Kagome?" she asked, leaving the rest said but unsaid.

"Bad dreams," Kagome muttered, moving back to hug her mother once more. "I just wanted my mother."

"Kagome," her mother said, her tone softening now to one of motherly understanding. "Perhaps you should talk with your grandfather about these dreams."

At that Kagome laughed and then she realized her mother was serious. "Really?"

"He has a way with these things," she replied, the look in her eyes daring Kagome to laugh again. "While you may not think much of his spiritual powers, he _does _have them."

"Mom, you don't really believe in all that stuff, do you?" Kagome had to ask.

"Kagome Higurashi," her mother sternly replied. "You are being disrespectful to me, to our religion, and to our heritage."

She suitably lowered her head, realizing she really had stepped out of bounds with that statement. "I'm sorry, mother. Please forgive me."

"Speak with your grandfather about these dreams, these feelings you've been having, about this figure who has so haunted you and I will."

At the mention of strange feelings and of being haunted, something she hadn't spoken of to her mother, Kagome looked up sharply, but her mother had already turned away and was busying herself with something else. Taking the dismissal as it was, Kagome bowed her head and left to find her grandfather.

*FM*

She found her grandfather still in the back rooms of the shrine's store looking through boxes. "Jiji?" she said as she entered, wanting him to know she was there.

He jumped at the sound of her voice, upsetting a box filled with bells. "You scared an old man," he chided as he bent to pick up the mess he'd made.

Kagome moved quicker than he and tended to the bells before he could. He sent her a grateful look, one hand clutching his lower back that she knew pained him from time to time. Her grandfather was getting older in years and who knew how much longer she would be blessed with his presence. "Sorry, Jiji, but I wanted to talk to you."

"I was searching for those charms," he murmured, turning back to the boxes before him.

"I've been having those dreams still," Kagome continued, undeterred. For some reason she got the feeling that her grandfather didn't really want to broach the subject—which was entirely unlike the man she thought she knew—despite his earlier demands that she tell him the instant she had another one. "And feelings. Strange feelings. Like I'm being watched. And when I don't dream my head hurts in the morning, as if something has been trying to get in my mind all night long."

"Ah! Here they are!" he crowed triumphantly as he lifted several scraps of paper out of a small black box.

"Jiji, please," Kagome pleaded with closed eyes as the throbbing in her head suddenly increased and then she heard him sigh. Opening her eyes, she saw her grandfather in front of her, his back still to her but a bow of giving-in to his shoulders now.

"I should have known you would be touched. I always suspected…but I hoped it wasn't true."

"Touched?"

"You have spiritual powers like mine, Kagome. Neither your mother or brother seems to have gained them, but I should have known you would. Someone always bears them within a generation or two. Mine are not particularly strong," her grandfather admitted with a downturned head, "But I do have them. I sense…things. Vague, fleeting glimpses mostly, but sometimes I can hear the voices of those who are gone or who linger in secrecy."

"Linger in secrecy?"

"Spirits," he answered. "Sometimes I swear I feel the presence of a youkai." He turned and looked her over, taking in her tired expression and body fatigue with a new light. "Do you know that most of the items stored here, the holy relics and artifacts we guard and watch over, are of youkai decent?"

"I didn't."

"Of course you don't. You never listened to my stories," he admonished with a more playful tone. "We have those items because of our long line of spiritual powers. Our spiritual strength may be the only thing stopping them from gaining powers beyond any normal human's understanding," he continued, his tone losing its playful edge once more. "Yet sometimes it is not those items that we watch over that they want. Sometimes it is _us _that they require."

Kagome wanted to know who _they _were and what exactly it was that _they _required people for and all those questions were on the tip of her tongue when her grandfather held up a silencing finger. "There is a time and place for such discussion and this is not it, granddaughter." He approached her and laid his wizened hand against her cheek. It felt rough with age and callused, but at the same time as comforting to her now as the hug from her mother had been earlier. "Now go to your room and rest in peace. No youkai can reach you here. No wandering spirits can try to drain your soul. Here you are safe. Rest and we shall talk again when you are in a better state of mind."

"Yes, Jiji," Kagome agreed, knowing she would get no more from him until she did as she was told.

*FM*

Kagome opened her eyes and stared, slightly confused for a moment, at the familiar ceiling above where she lay. Then she recalled where she was and why she was napping in the middle of the day. Rising, feeling as if she'd had the best sleep in years, Kagome automatically grabbed a change of clothing and headed towards the bathroom. She didn't realize she'd slipped back into her old habits until the tub was already filling and shrugged away whatever guilt she felt.

She enjoyed a long, hot soak, remembering bygone days, and then dressed and went searching for her grandfather. It was time he told her what in the hell was going on. Oddly, though, the house lay silent and empty before her. _Now this is a little off, _Kagome thought to herself as she slipped her shoes on and headed outside. Never, in all her time here, had the house stood empty, but then again she had been off to school a great deal of that time.

Slowly prowling the grounds, Kagome took in the oh-so familiar surroundings of her family's home and the shrine. She'd been raised here, spent almost her entire life here among these trees and buildings. Always she'd felt _something_, but had ended chalking it up to an overactive imagination. There was a sense of relief—and foreboding—to know that there actually was _something_.

She found her grandfather seated under Goshinboku. He looked her over from head to toe as she neared and then nodded his head. "You look better rested."

"I am."

He indicated with a short nod of his head for her to sit and Kagome did. For a long moment he watched the clouds move across the sky and then let out a quiet sigh. "So you continued to have the dreams and did not tell me of them."

A wave of guilt washed over her at the remembrance of her deception, but her grandfather washed it away with a wave of his hand. "I would have expected such. You were not raised as I was. It was the wish of your father, after all…"

At the mention of her father, who had died when she was so young she could barely recall him, Kagome raised her head to comment on that, but the look on her grandfather's face stopped her. He was lost in his memories; seeing her but not. "He was a good son," her grandfather said sadly. "But his views of this world were so skewered by what was 'reality' and what was 'fact'."

Her grandfather's eyes suddenly focused more fully upon her and yet there was still a wall between them. It was as if he were speaking to her but yet not realizing to whom he was speaking. "Sparrow," he said quickly. "There are tales you need to hear and learn from."

_Sparrow? _Her grandfather had never called her anything other than her name or granddaughter. "What tales, Jiji?"

"Tales of woe and sorrow," he answered. "But first you must know the base of them. Long ago, in our very distance past, youkai numbered as many as humans. Humans and youkai co-existed—though youkai were as feared as they were admired. They were superior to us in almost every way; strength, speed, healing, lifespan, prowess, and—in some—intelligence. Despite those differences, we lived peacefully and together. Slowly, though, the youkai changed. They began looking down on humans as if we were a pestilence to be wiped off the face of the earth, as if we were born to serve them. Great battles were waged with the loss of life on both sides being so much that entire fields and rivers ran red with blood for weeks."

Kagome closed her eyes and pictures of her dreams came to mind. Had she dreamed the past? Or was she dreaming of the future to come?

Her grandfather continued, seeming enthralled by something and not noticing her emotional state. "The Kamis saw this and were dismayed. The two races they had created were slowly annihilating themselves. So they intervened and a truce was reached… Realizing how superior to us the youkai were and to keep the youkai from violating the pact, the Kami created a new breed of human, one touched by their spiritual hands. Those "touched" were able to protect humans from the youkai who broke the truce."

He paused, clearing his throat and turning his eyes down to the earth underneath him. His aged hands reached out and he ran his fingers across the ground. "Time passed and all seemed well. The balance was restored and, though there were skirmishes from time to time, humans and youkai lived amongst each other once more. But then the human population began to grow and we had no choice but to move out from those places designated as "ours" by the truce. The youkai rose again, angered and outraged that we were destroying the land, and once more the world was thrown into turmoil, but we were too strong and they were too few against our greater numbers. And so the age of the youkai passed and the age of man began."

"For some reason I find that saddening," Kagome commented, following the strange markings her grandfather was drawing in the dirt with her eyes.

His eyes seemed to snap back into the present and he studied the markings he'd made on the ground as he replied, "As did those others who were touched. Truthfully, we were more youkai than human. Able to heal faster and call upon forces no normal human could, we became as reveled and feared as the youkai had been."

At that, Kagome snorted. "I can see how long that lasted." A sad smile came to her grandfather's face at her comment and Kagome felt a wave of guilt wash over her. "Forgive me, grandfather."

"There is nothing to forgive. You speak the truth. Humans have such a short lifespan; we often forget what lessons time has taught."

"If the youkai are no more, Jiji, then what are my dreams about?"

"I never said youkai were extinct, Kagome," her grandfather chided briefly. "Some are still around. Here and there they struggle with life. But what is a youkai? A spirit. And spirits never die. Who and what we, those touched, are still stands and our mission in this life must still be upheld despite the fact that humanity has forgotten."

"So the man in my dreams is a youkai?"

"More than likely the spirit of one long gone who is searching for life, for physical presence, once more. As I said earlier, we have much in common with youkai and with that…bond…between us, they can—if they control us—gain power _through _us. The stronger the miko or priest, the greater power to be gained."

"And what would happen if he were to gain power over me?" Kagome asked, almost scared of his reply.

Her grandfather's eyes darkened for a moment and then he looked away. "Death," he answered simply. "If a powerful youkai were to unleash his fury upon us now, there would be nothing but death, Sparrow."

"You keep calling me Sparrow," Kagome finally remarked.

Her grandfather turned surprised eyes to hers and his surprise was only overshadowed by his confusion. "I have never called you such, Kagome."

"You just did. Don't you remember?"

Her grandfather lowered his eyes once more and studied the strange markings he'd made on the ground. He stared at them hard for a moment before lifting his head once more to look at her. Kagome drew back as she met his eyes again and saw only golden ones staring back at her. Then her grandfather spoke and it was _his _voice that came from between his lips. "Sparrow, be silent and run."

*FM*

a/n: Sorry about the pause, but I lost my way. Think I've found it again, though…


End file.
